You are mean! First off, I’m not afraid of you. You cross my mind as quick note as the wind and you’re gone in seconds. I can deal with a few seconds of fear. The type of fear that leaves you motionless, at a stand still, with nothing besides the air that is quickly leaving your body from your last breath. I see you in my life, just flashes, like ones from a camera. So bright and harsh, your lasting impact leaves me blind for a few moments. Then, you’re gone, yet I know you’ll come again.
I was taught that if you repeat something so many times it will lose its meaning. Death, death, death sees nothing. The catch is you are something and you are lasting.
Crazy that I sat down to write you a letter. But I’ve always wanted to talk to you. I’ve always wanted stop by for a chat. The thing is that I don’t know where you reside or what you look like. But I’m positive I’ve seen you around. I’ve seen you in the newspaper and on the T.V. I’ve heard the screams and the cries you cause. I’m addressing you because I want to understand your purpose. I’m appalled at your success rate, 100% guaranteed attendance in everyone’s life. Impressive, really, I thought you would have missed at least one of us. Nope, I was wrong but there is still time.
You take people who we love away from us. Sometimes, you come out of nowhere and leave us standing and wondering if what we are experiencing is going to be our new reality. You make us wonder what we could have done differently. What actions could we have taken to save them, to console them more, to be more prepared for the loss. The person that used to fill our hearts with warmth lays stone cold in your arms. For some of us, you cause us to question our religion, because we wonder why you haven’t heard and answered our prayers. Even if we pledge our hearts and actions to a divine being or beings, why are you still in the picture? Why do you still steal the precious lives of the innocent? You often cause us to lose faith in what we believe. You make us question the presence of a divine creature, because if it had absolute power, couldn’t it force you to make the right choice? Wouldn’t you steal the lives of the guilty over the innocent?
For others, you make us dive into unfamiliar faiths because it’s the only way we obtain any personal comfort or solace. Sometimes, something we never believed in becomes our crutch, and it ends up being the only thing holding us upright.
You make us sad and you make us angry. You ruin families. You shamelessly steal the lives of children, some of whom are too young to sin. So why do you do it? There are so many unanswered questions when you are present and most of these questions will never be answered. And most of these questions don’t have answers to them, but we ask them anyway out of confusion and pain. We ask these questions of our faith, ourselves, and our entity because you are such an impossible concept to grasp. Accepting you takes so much time and in some instances, I will never accept what you have done.
But one thing I do know is that you make us grow. You make us appreciate the important things in life a little more and you teach us to let go of the things that don’t matter. As much as I despise you, I admit that, because of you, I have learned to appreciate those that you have stolen from me. You taught me to appreciate those heart-warming moments that I had with the victims of your ruthlessness. You taught me to cherish loved ones, memories, and time, something that can be spent but never bought.
So even though you may take the lives of those who seemingly had so many years to come, you will not ruin the lives of the people who knew and loved them. We will go forward with the knowledge that every year, every month, every day, and every moment deserves appreciation. Most of the time, we don’t really appreciate what we have until you take it from us because life often feels endless. So thank you for serving as that reminder. A reminder that life is definite and precious.